7.4.17

Buck-Tick: The Climax... or... Milking the Money Man

Some people claim that men can't lactate - that is to say, male Homo sapiens can't make milk like female mammals of every species. In fact, it's possible that the number of people who believe men can't lactate is even higher than the number of people who believe that climate change is real, and that human beings actually landed on the moon. But Victor Entertainment doesn't listen to science! Victor Entertainment knows that if you squeeze men's tits hard enough, milk comes streaming out... and that milk has a very distinct color. Oh, wow, funny coincidence: it's the same color as money.

General admission standing tour to support Atom Miraiha? You've got to be out of your minds. Why get Buck-Tick to actually stand onstage and do something real for their 30th anniversary, when instead you can make a cheesy retrospective rockumentary about them climaxing together for 30 years, then release it to movie theaters and charge fans 2500 yen for the privilege of reliving a pale shadow of something they already saw live in the sweaty flesh back in the early 90's when they were still young, beautiful, and carefree?

That is to say, Attention Blog-Tickers! Not to be outdone by X Japan's masturbatory cheesefest We Are X, the Victor Overlords of the Buck-Tick Industrial Complex are just about to jizz their pants with excitement at the following news: a second Buck-Tick: The Movie will be released in June! Entitled BUCK-TICK ~CLIMAX TOGETHER~ ON SCREEN 1992-2016, it will feature, in the words of the promotional site

"Retrospective interviews connected by the thread of three concerts in 1992, 2004, and 2016, showing the growth of the band members and their relationship with their fans, and highlighting Buck-Tick's one-of-a-kind stage presence in bold ink."

If you fell asleep in boredom before you reached the end of that sentence, you're not alone. We just woke up to find we'd nodded off in our chairs while attempting to translate it.

Oh, and just as The Buck-Tick Phenomenon: The Theatrical Release was a ridiculously long and clunky title for a movie which was much better shortened to Buck-Tick: The Movie (a title which you may have noticed the band themselves actually slapped onto the movie after the fact when they released it to DVD!), 

Buck-Tick ~*~*~*~ClImAx tOgEtHer -GJTHBKHTD -19870921x30- ~*~*~*~

(that's the official title right? I'm too lazy to scroll back up and check) is also a ridiculously long and clunky movie title, and therefore we are going to go ahead and shorten it to Buck-Tick: The Climax.

But seriously, kids, how much of an anti-climax is this, anyway? Dedicated fans have already seen all three Climax Together concerts on video if not in person, "Buck-Tick's relationship with their fans" could be summed up by blowing a raspberry while sitting on a whoopee cushion, and unless they decided to interview the whole band while skinny-dipping in one of Gunma Prefecture's famous hot springs, we can be pretty sure there will be no surprise clips of backstage Nude Goth Pilates. In short, there is almost certainly going to be no point to this movie, other than an excuse for day drinking in a movie theater. Which is actually not a bad idea. Anyone who wants to join Cayce for a spot of that, email us. Honestly we're not even picky about the film. It doesn't have to be Buck-Tick. It could be a porno flick instead...that would be sure to contain more climaxes, anyhow. You have until June to come up with recipes for tasty absinthe cocktails that can fit in a hip flask.

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In other news, fans will soon be able to vote on tracks to be included in Buck-Tick's 30th anniversary best-of album, which will be titled The BesT of the BesT of the BesT of Buck-Tick (Better than the Best of the Best!). Voting will take place on this site, and be open between May 1st at noon and June 30th at one minute to midnight. If I find out that any single one of you has voted for "Muma -The Nightmare-," I will personally hunt you down and kill you. Muma made it onto the last two unnecessary anniversary best albums, people. Unless this is some divine Wiccan punishment coming back full circle (in which case we're doomed to suffer three Mumas), let's not make the same mistake three times.

Instead, here are MY suggestions for songs to vote for, in no particular order:

No-No Boy
Hearts
Capsule Tears - Plastic Syndrome III-
Embryo
Pleasure Land
Under the Moonlight
Loop -Mark II-
Kimi e
Sexy Streamliner
Living on the Net
Brilliant
Nakayubi
That song about Acchan losing his bikini (I forget the title)

Details of the release have not yet been announced, but rumor has it that it will be released only to cassette tape, mini disc, floppy disc, Nintendo 64 and Betamax, so have those vintage technology players ready and waiting!

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Real talk: Buck-Tick have a lot of great songs that time and fans forgot. In the next week or so, we'll write a post on some songs we genuinely believe you should vote for for the best album, but in the meantime, go back and listen to their whole discography again, and kindly skip "Muma," "Aku no Hana" and "Tenshi wa Dare da" while thinking fondly of how much you love Cayce.

Oh, and for some reason I feel like sharing this song. It seems relevant, somehow.


18 comments:

  1. Well, this whole thing was to be expected tbh, so I'm not surprised. I wouldn't mind if they had announced other lives or activities aside from the usual "exclusive footage" and Best of album, though.

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  2. I actually just finished relistening to the BT discography (well, starting from Aku no Hana anyway. I really don't have patience for their first few albums...) in honor of finally being able to pick up a physical copy of their latest album on a recent trip to Tokyo. On my relisten to 13kai I couldn't help but think of all your ranting about Muma, and frankly I've gotta agree with you. I don't have any hate for that song, but there are so many tracks on that album that are all-around stronger. The fact that Passion isn't considered a staple of the band's discography is criminal!

    (also, I feel I can definitively declare Love Parade to be the greatest Hide ballad in the band's discography. This is an official declaration btw. All must abide by it.)

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    1. Lawrence, I agree. "Passion" is probably the single best song on 13kai (though "Gesshoku," "Doukeshi A" and "Kourin" are also strong contenders). Why don't they play it more often? Probably because it was written by Hide and Imai doesn't seem to like bringing back Hide songs. Also I suspect that from the band's perspective, they feel it doesn't fit with a lot of their recent work and they have to be careful about deploying it in a live set because it's so slow that it runs the risk of "killing the vibe." Not that I think slow songs kill the vibe, mind you - far from it. I'd be perfectly content to see an entire set of nothing but ballads. But they're working with a fanbase with little music appreciation and short attention spans.

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  3. Thank you Cayce for you info. ^^ Is there any info on when/if Climax Together 3rd BlueRay will be release?

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    Replies
    1. No info on that yet, but when the info comes out, don't worry - we'll post it!

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  4. If I lived in Japan, I'd be sure to write to share a bottle. I think I'll be in 2018. I know that there are people preparing to vote for Muma in first, second and third place. No comment. Adhiero a No no boy, aikawarazu no "Are" no Katamari, Capsule tears (one of my favorites) and many others, any of those who never play live and do not need the Acchancho touching their parts to work.

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  5. Never seen in a live: Angel Fish, Maria, Chocolate, Aikawarazu no "are" no katamari, Chaos ~Kirameki no Naka de...~, Deep Slow, Ao no Sekei, Lion
    Would like to see more: Under the moonlight, Kiss me goodbye, Paradise, Chouchou, Cain

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    1. Well, there's that Satellite Circuit live for Angel Fish (tho it doesn't really do it justice imo) and that DTD Shibuya Kokkaido for Ao no Sekai, Kirameki, Deep Slow and Lion. If I'm not wrong they've played Lion even in FTO 2006. The others they also have played but they're kinda "forgotten".

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  6. Wow, that description from the promotional site reads worse than titles of scientific papers. Definitely.
    But what about your recommended songs for voting list? I like a lot of the songs you mentioned but I think if we vote for them it´s lost votes because nobody else in Japan will vote for them anyway.

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  7. When I first saw the news about the best album voting on Buck-Tick's website I thought 'Black Cherry, Black Cherry all the way!' (that's what she said...). Then I calmed down a bit and realised with sadness that none of my top picks from each album will probably make it into the 'Best of...' as they are all under-appreciated (glad to see some Aikawarazu love here though!).
    Totally agree about Muma- my personal pick from that album would be Gesshoku- it is like Muma's cooler and darker older brother.

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  8. If I had to make a top 3 for voting it would be Brilliant, Kodou and Yuuwaku.

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  9. I'd love a modern version of the following:
    Foolish
    Ash-Ra
    Mienai mono...
    Zero
    Kirameki no naka de
    Lullaby II (if it exists)
    My Fuckin Valentine
    Dizzy Moon

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  10. Will they just include the original songs in the compilation though, or will they rework them like with Sane or My Baby Japanese, etc.?

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  11. I would love to see on that list:
    The world is yours
    Kamikaze
    Kalavinka
    Narcissus
    Kimi e
    Desperate Girl
    Castle in the air
    Tokyo
    Stay Gold
    Doukeshi A

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    Replies
    1. Oh I agree with Desperate Girl especially! Also Tokyo is one of my early faves.

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  12. Why they decided to sign with Victor again??

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  13. I 'd love to see silent night making it on the list but, I don't think that's gonna happen ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

    -Dan

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