24.2.17

Buck-Tick Quiz

Are you a newcomer to Buck-Tickistan, still working your way through Buck-Tick's vast discography? Are you a long-time fan who got hung up on one particular album and haven't listened to the others in a while? Are you using Buck-Tick lyrics to brush up on your Japanese skills? Do you simply really like taking online quizzes? Well, friends, you will probably enjoy this Buck-Tick discography quiz

For those of you who don't read Japanese, there are three quiz options, listed in order (the three blue buttons in the middle of the page).

Option 1: quiz yourself on Buck-Tick's popular hits!
Option 2: quiz yourself on Buck-Tick's b-sides and album tracks!
Option 3: quiz yourself on 162 possible Buck-Tick songs...this one is sudden death style, so if you make a miss take, it's game over!

Make sure you adjust the volume of your speakers before playing this game, because the volume is quite loud. Most of the song titles are written in Japanese, and some are only partial, so this is a great way to quiz yourself on kanji titles while enjoying the enchanting voice of Mr. Sakurai in bite-sized pieces. Even if you find this quiz to be a piece of cake, it will surely inspire you to go back and listen to all the albums you haven't listened to in a while.

11.2.17

Weird News of Buck-Tickistan

Since Buck-Tick's Fish Tankers Only Tour 2017 ended almost as quickly as it began, we've had precious little news from Buck-Tickistan, but for the following two strange announcements.

1. Between February 8th and February 10th, the Astro Boy x Buck-Tick collaboration goods (shown in the photos below) were exhibited in the Tezuka Productions general exhibit room at the 83rd Tokyo International Gift Show, held at the Tokyo Big Sight convention center. Since this is a trade show, it was not open to members of the general public, only to persons with business-related invitations, and at the time this announcement was made, pre-registration had already been closed. Therefore, it's a mystery why they bothered to put the announcement on their site. Was it an invitation to Buck-Tick fans who happened to be attending the gift show to come on over? Or was it simply a necessary bragging opportunity, since let's face it, Buck-Tick hardly ever get general exposure anymore? Either way, we're glad these Tezuka nerd goods are still hanging out in public where people can see them, because we don't think that the stares our tote bag attracts as we putter around our neighborhood grocery store really count.






2. On March 8th, Higuchi Yutaka will participate in a talk show sponsored by the music magazine Ongaku to Hito and hosted by Kanemitsu Hirofumi, one of Ongaku to Hito's senior writers who has covered Buck-Tick since around the time of their debut. Entitled "Just Before The Curtain Rises! We're Musicians Who Love Pro Baseball!", this talk show will, you guessed it, feature a bunch of musicians who love baseball, talking about baseball. Yutaka's been writing a monthly baseball column for Ongaku to Hito for years now, so this is really no surprise, especially given that his buddy Kanemitsu is involved. The performers announced so far are:

Ueno Koji (The Hiatus, Ka.F.Ka) - supporting the Hiroshima Toyo Carp
Okamoto "Moby" Takuya (Scoobie Do) - supporting the Chicago Cubs
Great Maekawa (Flower Companies) - supporting the Chunichi Dragons
Higuchi Yutaka (Buck-Tick) - supporting the Hanshin Tigers

Oh yeah, and it say in the announcement that Kanemitsu also supports the Hanshin Tigers. Is this going to be biased talk? Just maybe.

Amazingly, the tickets for this event are only 3500 yen plus at least one drink, but the thing is happening at Loft Plus One, which between you and us is a VERY small venue, so good luck getting tickets in the first place. Tickets go on sale from 10AM on February 15th through eplus. A disclaimer on the announcement reminds potential attendees that though the participants in this event are all musicians, they will NOT be talking about music UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, so don't let that get your knickers in a twist. But if you're aroused by the though of hearing Yutaka talk about some Serious Hard Ball, well, this is the event for you.

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25.1.17

More Manga Smut by Cayce

Three more manga stories we had the privilege to translate have been released by Renta! comics. Blue Rose is a bizarre gothy boys' love story set in England, and if you love stories about faraway places written by people who've never been there as much as we do, you're going to love this one. Learn more here.


In addition to that one, we translated another story, Silent Submission, which is basically regular ol' het smut, but it bears the distinction of having a heroine who, unlike most manga heroines, is not a naive virgin, embarrassed blushing girlfriend, cute bunch of bubbles, or long-suffering caretaker type, but a sexually aggressive and ambitious lady who isn't afraid to snatch what she wants, even if it means being a manipulative schemer. Props to this story for playing to a different sort of fantasy than many of these types of stories do. You can read this one here.


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23.1.17

Atom Miraiha Tour DVD: Deleted Scenes EXCLUSIVE

The Hisashi Inquirer is proud to bring this all-new EXCLUSIVE scoop, straight from the Royal Palace of Buck-Tickistan itself!

According to an announcement from the Buck-Tickistan Grand Vizier, on Wednesday, April 26th, Buck-Tick will release a new live DVD of their final live performance of 2016, that is to say, the tour final of the Atom Miraiha No. 9 Hall Tour, held on December 29th at the Nippon Budoukan. This juicy release will come in a total of FOUR versions, for the following prices: 

Ultra Extra Special Limited Edition Blu-Ray 
- 10800 yen, including tax

Ultra Extra Special Limited Edition DVD 
- 9720 yen, including tax

Ho-Hum Normal Regular Edition Blu-Ray
- 7020 yen, including tax

Ho-Hum Normal Regular Edition DVD 
- 5940 yen, including tax

In addition to the video itself, the Ultra Extra Special Limited Editions will include PHOTOBOOKS of photography from the shows, Ultra Extra Special SHM-CD discs of the live audio from the shows, and application tickets for an Ultra Extra Special Present Lottery.

Thus far, this information has been publicly available through the Public Relations Office of Buck-Tickistan...BUT! The Hisashi Inquirer goes ABOVE and BEYOND, to offer you more bang for your Buck-Tick buck! And this time, boy oh BOY (septem peccata mortalia) have we scooped!

This time, esteemed readers...THIS TIME, we offer you an Ultra Extra Special Live Photobook of our own: snapshots from STEAMY, SEXY DELETED SCENES you will not see on the DVD!!!!!!!!!!!

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Like this one!!!! OMG look where he's holding that microphone! It almost looks like a YOU-KNOW-WHAT (and if you don't know what we sincerely hope you find out soon...)


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But wait, there's MORE! Like this extremely small but OVERPOWERINGLY SEXYLICIOUS triangle of Mr. Gothique Prince Acchan's clean, soft, firm and juicy femoral flesh!!!


Feast your fangirl eyes! Flush faint in feverish fantasy!


For fuck's sake, keep fainting and fantasizing!


You had better not be done fainting yet ;) If you were, well then...FAINT AGAIN.


Our on-the-ground reporter reports that Mr. Gothique Prince Acchan struck this particular pose while performing a secret never-filmed cover version of "Don't Tell Mama" from Cabaret (psst - don't tell mama about it!)


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And if, esteemed reader, you're an ostensibly heterosexual male, feeling flustered at how fluttery these scandalous photos make you feel, take heart - you're not alone!


Massive attack! Feel so good! The day Mr. Yutaka "Serious" Higuchi's buttocks met Mr. Gothique Prince Acchan's thighs was an arousing, exciting, and pleasurable day all around! 


Let the fujoshi freak-out fest commence!!!

This concludes The Hisashi Inquirer's daily report...but don't worry, we know your fantasies have only just gotten started! And stay tuned, because we'll be back with more in the near future for future!
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The above excerpt from The Hisashi Inquirer, 2017 No. 1 issue 3 was translated from the original Buck-Tickistani by Cayce. And between you and us, they outright stole our exclusive photos. But we're not going to bother them about it, because we're not going to rain on your Women's Parade this week. Share away, but please credit Blog-Tick.

Now go break the internet, already.




20.1.17

Fish Tanker's Only 2017 Goods

In honor of their 30th anniversary, the Buck-Tick members have turned into officially licensed anime characters designed by the late Osamu Tezuka from beyond the grave! What they will look like is still a mystery...but tomorrow, we'll get to see them live on stage in their new forms for the first time ever! Meanwhile, as a lead-up to this startling turn of events, they have released the designs for the tour goods to be sold at the upcoming Fish Tanker's Only Tour 2017. If you'd like us to help you buy any of the following items, let us know asap!

First, just look at these cool t-shirts:

If you wanted a black version of the Astro Boy t-shirt sold at the Budoukan, here's your chance. It's even one of those long A-line shirts that are so in fashion right now. It's one size fits all and 4200 yen.


Alternatively, if you like your band members a little more realistic, you'll love this new version featuring Tezuka-style band members (click to enlarge). Just check out Sexy Beast Hide's hair! This one's only 3800 yen and comes in small, medium, and large. If you'd like to order from us, don't forget to specify size.

And some more non-shirt goods besides:



But if you like to have your cake and eat it too, why not go for the tote bag that has the Astro Bucks on the front and Tezuka-Tick on the back! 2000 yen, made of cotton.


If you want to dry your naked boobies on a towel featuring the new anime B-T, this is the towel for you. We're sorry we verbally sexually harassed you by making reference to boobies. Plus it was awfully sexist of us to assume that you, a figment of the internet, are a boobies-having person. Sorry again. This towel is 2000 yen and 100% cotton.

And some band member produced goods:

This cool bandana by Imai will not give away that you're a Buck-Tick fan, but it is covered with subtle Climax Together crosses so you can be both religious and climaxing wherever you go! Bonus points if you either 1) tie this bandana around your face bandit-style or 2) use it as a makeshift wrapper for your home-baked "special" brownies. 2000 yen and 100% cotton.


Look, star chocolates by #SexyBeastHide! Just in time for Valentine's day, too! This is the bestest, perfectest passive aggressive Valentine's day gift ever: there is literally no better way to say to your sweetie "baby I love you, but I love Hoshino Hidehiko even more." Highly recommended for everyone whose relationship has gone on too long. 1200 yen. Contains six chocolates.

If you can't get enough of Toll's pussyhawk, what about these pussyhawk pins? They're each about 2cm tall and made of stainless steel. This, like the chocolates above, is a great passive aggressive way to show how much cooler you are than all those desperate fangirls who bought Kurumi t-shirts as a way of feeding their sad fantasies about being close to Acchan. Everyone cool knows that Toll's the one who knows how to treat a pussy right. 1500 yen.

This tour's goods are also heavy on holders and cases:

Here's a better photo of the wildly popular pink ticket holder! If you want this one, ask me asap because this thing has already sold out from the web shop like three times. 1500 yen and made of "vegan leather" which is really just a pretentious way of saying it's not made of leather it's made of a non-renewable fossil-fuel based product, i.e. PVC.

And the trading card case. It will hold your "compu' set, if you be the collecting type. 1500 yen and made of pretentious not-leather.

Then again, if you're the type who likes to wear your Buck-Tick tickets around your neck at all times instead of your work ID badge, this is the ticket holder you probably want, since it comes with its own lanyard. 2500 yen, and it has a zipper so you can stash cash in it, too.

Oh yeah, and ALL the Kurumi goods:

If you haven't had enough of Mr. Sakurai's pussy yet, here's more of her. But between you and us, we'd like to remind you that this is the oldest capitalist strategy in the book: translating your unrequited pussy-lust into cold hard yen.

This cloth-covered mirror is 13 x 16 centimeters and it has Kurumi all over it. 2000 yen.

The same Kurumi t-shirts that were available at the Budoukan are still available. The top one is 3800 yen and comes in medium and large. The bottom is 4200 yen and one size only.

And more stuff that was available at the Budoukan:

Hide Hipster Glasses! 3800 yen.

Toll Pussyhawk smartphone case! 3000 yen. 



Imai Atomu shirt! 3800 yen and comes in small, medium, or large.

And Serious Astro Yutaka! 1500 yen.

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If you want any of this stuff, email us at themadaristocrat at gmail. The sooner the better.

11.1.17

Atom Miraiha Budoukan Goods

The Atom Miraiha tour goods from the tour final at the Budoukan are now up on the Buck-Tick web shop, so check them out here. Some of the items are sold out, but many more are still available...however, no telling how long they'll last! We'll be placing an order soon for all the items desired by Blog-Tick customers, so if you'd like us to help you order anything, email us asap. We will be able to offer a small discount on shipping for customers placing their orders together.

As far as the live report goes...we're working on it, but we got socked with an Urgent Business Project due tomorrow, so it's on hold for a bit. We'll get back to it as soon as we can.

Also, thanks Russian fangirls, for all your freaking out over Acchan-chan's thighs. We're so happy that after so many years, we finally managed to break the internet, and you were the ones who made that possible. We promise more thigh pics in the near future. In the meantime, have a brilliant future for future.

6.1.17

Thighgate, or, This Amazing Fanart Will Blow Your Mind!

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It's been all over the Interweb art galleries! According to sketchily-inclined fangirls, on the Atom Miraiha Tour, this happened:




Yes, that's right. According to the Internet, on the Atom Miraiha Tour, our very own dear Mr. Sakurai magically transformed into a nubile, round-bottomed anime girl, whose hobby is being photographed at obscenely low angles for the cover of the kinds of porno gravure magazines they sell in convenience stores over here, because apparently, having a really, really large butt and a small head is almost as sexy as having gigantic balloon-sized boobs covered with really small triangles of fabric.

But as far as balloon boobs go, didncha know that Mr. Sakurai has the next best thing - a pert little bubble butt that's so fucking perky it looks like it's going to pop out the top of his pants! The butt in the below picture is his actual butt, yo. And just look at the shape of that nose, eh? God's nose is shaped like that, and Jesus inherited his father's nose. What is the sound of one hand fapping?



Oh yeah, and he also grew a hard, breastplate-like superhero chest of bulging pecs that threatened to bust their way out of his shirt like Thor!!!1


MMMMM, SMEX! SMEX FOR YOU! Help us, kids, we're so turned on now we don't know what to do with ourselves, but we're also secretly ashamed of our sexuality and though we're adults in calendar years, when it comes to sexual age, we're still closet 15-year-olds who are deeply embarrassed by the human body, yet wildly aroused by the mere sight of even a sliver of bare flesh (any sliver will do)!!!!! And we also never learned what our own genitals do or how to pleasure ourselves in a healthy, effective and self-loving manner, so our frustration knows no bounds! This is indeed a maddening and saddening state of affairs!

Also, we are SOOOOOO JEALOUS OF THIS GIRL. OMG. HOW DARE SHE STEAL OUR ACCHAN! And we're jealous that she's a much better artist than we will ever be! Internet girl who created this picture, we hate you, and that's official. Damn your superior art skills, and damn your sexual success. Come let us passive-aggressively harass you. (Blog-Tickers: come and hate her with us! She stole our Acchan! She must die!)


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Anyhow, for those of you who attended the tour: you know that not only has Mr. Sakurai thusly acquired a new nickname, "Thigh-Tsushi" (we really, really wish we were making this up), but also, the secret greeting among Buck-Tick fangirls has changed from "Who's your favorite band member?" to "Have you seen Acchan's thighs?"

Just imagine that for a second, okay? You walk into a concert hall, and a total stranger comes up to you and says..."Hey, Cayce, have you seen Acchan's thighs?"

It happened to us, folks. Four times and counting. We survived, but barely.

This is why, though we're not generally in the business of trafficking in pornography, we felt the need to take action on this matter. Because, while we're not generally in the business of trafficking in pornography, we most certainly ARE in the business of debunking myths and rumors and misconceptions (at least until we can start our own superior rumors and misconceptions to replace them, that is! But never mind that.) We are the Snopes.com of Buck-Tickistan! We fact-check your fake news! And therefore, we are pleased to announce that we did our due diligence and came up with the following cold hard photographic evidence that the above fanarts are not, in fact, faithful renderings of the truth.

Kids, this is what REALLY happened that night. Don't let anyone try to tell you differently. The below photos are real, actual photos of your very own Atsushi Sakurai and they have not been digitally altered in any way, shape or form. 

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Merry Christmas from Cayce. Don't try to tell us Christmas was two weeks ago. In Buck-Tickistan, Christmas has just begun. 

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P.S. Before you get too comfortable...The Mortal, anyone? Nasophiliacs, rejoice! The bigger the nose grows, the more the nose knows.


P.P.S. Artists: please don't assume we are trying to discourage you from posting your art on the internet. We really want to see your art. Share moar art! Vita brevis, ars longa.